It has been awhile since I have blogged but I have been pretty busy with life. These past two weekends I have been at school. Doggy school that is!!! I am learning the ins and outs of becoming a well balanced dog trainer. I figure I love dogs so much and I spend a lot of my time trying to figure my own brood out that I should learn more about helping others!!
So I talked with Ginger, the owner and trainer at Fortunate Fido where I have done all the training with my pups, about where she would recommend me going to school to do what she does. And lo and behold she and a couple of her colleagues had been discussing putting together an academy to teach students all about being a completely positive trainer!!! Talk about timing!!!!
I am one of 5 students enrolled in the inaugural class of the Fortunate Fido Academy and I will definitely say that I have been impressed with the vast knowledge of my instructors. I am through with the "classwork" for the first semester and now onto the observation hours. We have to accrue 120 hours of pure observation of dog behaviors in classes, seminars, or competitions. Coming from a medical background I personally can attest that a person can learn so much more by being out in the field of work rather applying the knowledge than just sitting in a room being told about the happenings you will encounter.
I am also a HUGE advocate of positive training. I, myself, could never imagine doing anything that would hurt my dog, neither physically nor emotionally. It just amazes me that there are still so many trainers out there that employ these tactics and what is even more amazing is that they still have clients!!! I mean if there was a way to train your dog to be a happier, healthier, better dog AND you don't have to hurt them and cause fear in them why in the world would you choose to do so?? It just saddens me that there are companies out there like Sit Means Sit that HIDE the fact that they use shock collars from the public when they demonstrate how "well behaved" their dogs are....well yes they are well behaved....if not they are going to get shocked!! What kind of life is that?? I am pretty sure I can have at least two of my dogs sit for at least a minute (ok that MIGHT be stretching it for Cali...but she is a Lab puppy!!) and she actually looks HAPPY doing it not frightened!!
Whew!! Ok, off of my soapbox I step....though I am not going to stray TOO far from it!!! I have a feeling I am going to be becoming more and more of a loud mouth, er, voice against these places in years to come.
So the plan now is to continue observing (I have 22 out of the 120 hours) and start my reading list....that is if the books ever arrive (come ON, Amazon!!!). I will keep you all updated!!!
Loves, hugs, and big slobbery puppy kisses!!!
Rhonda
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Debt, Pups, and Weight
I finally broke down and did what I didn't want to do. But I just couldn't see another way around it. I dug the hole and now I need to get out of it. But I need to learn how to STAY out of it or else I am going to keep doing this. What is she talking about? Debt. I was debt free (sans mortgage, car and student loan) for a year. Then I let it all creep back in.
Started with spending my "savings" on a down payment on a car and vacation. Then it was little expenses here and there. Then letting my Overdraft Protection to get drained. To the point that I started using my credit card again. I had a plan that I was going to use it JUST for the tuition for me to go to school to become a dog trainer. Well, in the meantime, I have used it for so many other things, that I don't have room for the tuition. So add the tuition on as debt I wasn't counting on now.
So I am taking a loan out against my 403b. It is the only loan that I can get at the moment because of the housing market. I at one time would have had enough for a home equity loan however the stricter guidelines and the way the houses are being appraised it just wasn't in the cards. I hate doing this because of the way it will effect my retirement funds. The only solace that I am trying to take is that come January my boyfriend should be able to contribute significantly more towards the household bills therefore hopefully I will be able to pay off the loan quicker (no penalty for pre-payment).
All of this monetary stress has really been playing havoc on me. I have been feeling it in the way I have been approaching things and felt that I needed to get it out of the way before I started my classes for dog training. I truly believe that it has been part of my apathy towards my weight journey. My lack of drive and focus. I don't want that to filter into my studies. Dogs and training is my future and I want to put my all into that and not have worries over my head.
This won't fix things though. Right now the loan will be band-aid on a gaping wound if I don't learn how to put in sutures. I need to have a plan in place to attack the real problems and that is frivolous spending. I have to stop that and learn to tell my boyfriend no to things. I have to stop spending so much on food, especially on restaurant food when I have perfectly good food at home. That all starts with planning. I need to get order in my life. Right now, though I have lulled myself into thinking that there is, there is very little order in my life. I may go from one thing to another, but that doesn't make it orderly.
I also have to stop the Advocare process, at least for the time being. I LOVE the product. And I do feel that it gives me incredible amounts of energy but I just can't afford it. Hopefully down the line I will find that I can swing it, but in the meantime I am just going to use up what I have and not stress about becoming an Advisor. I will probably continue to order the Spark Drink and maybe the MNS E packs. We will see.
I also have to get back on track with my workouts. I was doing really well there for about a month and feeling great about myself. That is what I have to get back to. I have ChaLEAN to do, as well as creating the TNTs for my SparkPeople friends. Also, I need to get back to my C25K program. I was going onto week 4 but I am going to re-do week 3 again before proceeding. I also want to go back to the Yoga Space once I find some extra cash to spend on me. Maybe that will be one of my goal rewards.
My boyfriend is starting Weight Watchers on Monday so I am hoping to be able to create dinners for us that can be made ahead of time, or at least prepped ahead of time that he can throw together for us on the days he works from home. I also have some frozen burritos that I had put together that are about 300 calories a piece that I need to start taking with me to work for lunch. I just keep coming up with excuses not to.
So that is where my head has been. Hoping to come out of it soon.
Hugs and loves,
Rhonda
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Endorphins
I don't think I have any. In fact I am pretty darn sure I don't. Why? you might ask. Well because I HATE exercise!! Not that I don't want to do it but once it is done I feel better for doing it. Nope. Still hate it. Even afterwards.
I read blogs about how great people feel after they work out or run or what not. I have tried numerous types of exercises and have yet to find one I enjoy. And none of them give me that "high" feeling that people describe. I keep searching for it. I keep trying to find it. I keep telling myself that when I get to the next week of the C25K the endorphins will come. I keep telling myself that if I do the next ChaLEAN workout the "high" will be there. But it isn't. How am I supposed to get addicted to this stuff if I truly do not enjoy it???
Exercise is WORK to me. And who likes to work?? I do it because I have to...not because it is something I know is going to make me feel better about myself afterwards for doing.
I read blogs about how great people feel after they work out or run or what not. I have tried numerous types of exercises and have yet to find one I enjoy. And none of them give me that "high" feeling that people describe. I keep searching for it. I keep trying to find it. I keep telling myself that when I get to the next week of the C25K the endorphins will come. I keep telling myself that if I do the next ChaLEAN workout the "high" will be there. But it isn't. How am I supposed to get addicted to this stuff if I truly do not enjoy it???
Exercise is WORK to me. And who likes to work?? I do it because I have to...not because it is something I know is going to make me feel better about myself afterwards for doing.
I haven't been diligent about using my Advocare products and that has had to do with my frame of mind. I really need to get my head around things. Get my life on track. But doing that means I have to have a sit down talk with my man and I have been putting that off.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Yoga: Meditation & Relaxation
First off, I am old. Second off, I don't care. Why might you ask? Because one of the best Friday nights I have spent in a while just happened at my first ever yoga class. Well it was more of a one on one session, but still. It was all about learning to meditate and relax. On how to reconnect with yourself. In a way for me it would be connecting, since reconnecting would imply being connected at one point in time...since I do not remember a time that I was (probably when I was young, if ever) I should say connect.
If you have not taken a relaxation/meditation class and have ever thought about it, I would encourage it. We live in such a hectic world and most have such busy schedules that it really has come to the point that we have to schedule it in. Silly if you really stop and think about it.
After this week, I needed to take some time to reflect on things. To center myself. To become in tune to the inner flow of my body. Next week there will be tests done and maybe a confirmation on a diagnosis, and only then can I determine a plan of action. Right now, I gave the possibility of the diagnosis enough of a hold on me to ruin one day. And that was one day too many. So until a final diagnosis is achieved I am going to work on getting my health on the right path to handle whatever is thrown at me...both physically, emotionally, and physically.
I was not on track yesterday with my Advocare products. I drank the Spark and took the first strip but the rest went to the wayside with the call from the doctor. I made healthy choices with food and even said no to the cookie I wanted. Today I was on better track with Advocare, getting all of the strips, catalyst, and thermo-plus in...but I left my lunch bag at home...so my food options weren't as good because despite the fact that I work for a world leading hospital, the food options stink. I did ok with my choice but I did end up eating the cookie. Not going to beat myself up for it because I honestly wanted it today. It wasn't about eating emotions. I dealt with them yesterday and today I just wanted the cookie. So I ate it. And it was good. No guilt afterwards because it was a choice that I made after weighing out the options.
Tomorrow I am getting my hair done with a friend at a new place. I can't wait. Its been awhile since I have hung out with her and look forward to catching up a bit. If I get up on time I plan on doing Week 3 Day 3 of C25K and then go to Blended Style Yoga at the same place. But I am not going to put pressure on myself to go if I am not awake.
I am who I am.
Over and out,
Rhonda
If you have not taken a relaxation/meditation class and have ever thought about it, I would encourage it. We live in such a hectic world and most have such busy schedules that it really has come to the point that we have to schedule it in. Silly if you really stop and think about it.
After this week, I needed to take some time to reflect on things. To center myself. To become in tune to the inner flow of my body. Next week there will be tests done and maybe a confirmation on a diagnosis, and only then can I determine a plan of action. Right now, I gave the possibility of the diagnosis enough of a hold on me to ruin one day. And that was one day too many. So until a final diagnosis is achieved I am going to work on getting my health on the right path to handle whatever is thrown at me...both physically, emotionally, and physically.
I was not on track yesterday with my Advocare products. I drank the Spark and took the first strip but the rest went to the wayside with the call from the doctor. I made healthy choices with food and even said no to the cookie I wanted. Today I was on better track with Advocare, getting all of the strips, catalyst, and thermo-plus in...but I left my lunch bag at home...so my food options weren't as good because despite the fact that I work for a world leading hospital, the food options stink. I did ok with my choice but I did end up eating the cookie. Not going to beat myself up for it because I honestly wanted it today. It wasn't about eating emotions. I dealt with them yesterday and today I just wanted the cookie. So I ate it. And it was good. No guilt afterwards because it was a choice that I made after weighing out the options.
Tomorrow I am getting my hair done with a friend at a new place. I can't wait. Its been awhile since I have hung out with her and look forward to catching up a bit. If I get up on time I plan on doing Week 3 Day 3 of C25K and then go to Blended Style Yoga at the same place. But I am not going to put pressure on myself to go if I am not awake.
I am who I am.
Over and out,
Rhonda
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Just another snowy day.....
I woke up this morning with the right side of my face swollen and in pain. I had worn the night guard last night and it miraculously stayed in but I guess was not much help. I am not giving up on it yet though, as it is just the first night of wear and it was flared up. I decided to stay home because opening my mouth was painful and the "storm of the century" was coming....LOL.
I didn't actually wake though until 11:30 due to the meds I took last night for sleep and pain. I still drank my Spark drink and took my MNS E packs along with the Catalyst and ThermoPlus. Drank my morning MRS and rested some. I did attempt W3D2 of C25K but running was NOT a good thing to do. So I walked for 45 minutes.
I have decided that I should post my weights and measurements thus far on here too, not just on Sparkpeople....
Height: 5'4.5"
Week #1 January 5th,
Chest: 37
Waist: 35
Hip: 42.5
Thigh: 24.5
Arm: 14
STARTINT WEIGHT January 5: 183.8
Week 1 Jan 12: 182.4 (-1.4!!)
Week.2 Jan 19: 183.2 (+0.8)
Week 3 Jan 26: 181.2 (-2.0!!)
I didn't actually wake though until 11:30 due to the meds I took last night for sleep and pain. I still drank my Spark drink and took my MNS E packs along with the Catalyst and ThermoPlus. Drank my morning MRS and rested some. I did attempt W3D2 of C25K but running was NOT a good thing to do. So I walked for 45 minutes.
I have decided that I should post my weights and measurements thus far on here too, not just on Sparkpeople....
Height: 5'4.5"
Week #1 January 5th,
Chest: 37
Waist: 35
Hip: 42.5
Thigh: 24.5
Arm: 14
STARTINT WEIGHT January 5: 183.8
Week 1 Jan 12: 182.4 (-1.4!!)
Week.2 Jan 19: 183.2 (+0.8)
Week 3 Jan 26: 181.2 (-2.0!!)
Over and out,
Rhonda
Monday, January 31, 2011
Start of Advocare again...being Re"Sparked"
So I got my shipment of Advocare on Saturday with all sorts of new goodies in it to try!! On top of my regular MNS E pack, Catalyst, Meal Replacement Shakes (MRS) and Spark drink, I also got breakfast and snack bars, Rehydrate (a healthy version of Gatorade), Night Time Recovery and Thermo-Plus. I am feeling confident that I have a well rounded supplementation program now to incorporate into a great exercise program. Now, I just have to do it!!!
Yesterday, I got up, drank my Spark drink, took 6 Catalyst and ran Week 3 Day 1 of the C25K program!!! YEA ME!!! I am pretty slow, but hey we all have to start somewhere right??? One foot in front of the other....AND I ran for 3 minutes straight...well, ok wogged for 3 minutes straight. Then I took the first strip of the MNS E pack and 30 minutes later used my Bella Cucina mixer to make my MRS plus half a banana (sorry Amy...I like the vanilla so much better with some banana in it) along with strips two and three of the MNS pack. Then my day was off and running!! I LOVE all the energy I have with this stuff!!
I had to prepare the burritos that I had bought all the supplies for from my FAV store EVER Whole Foods. I had two recipes from Spark People...a wonderful web community of people where I draw support and strength from. I am making both recipes and freezing the burritos individually so that I can grab them for lunches at work...presto...easy AND healthy!!
Here are the two recipes: http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=56397 and http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=58968 I used sprouted grain tortillas http://www.foodforlife.com/product-catalog/sprouted-grain/ezekiel-49/whole-grain-flourless-tortillas
Did I mention that I woke up yesterday with a horrible pain on the right side of my jaw/ear area? That I could barely open and close my mouth? Yep, not that much fun.
My plan was to get up this morning and do Day 1 of the ChaLEAN program (found on http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/chalean_extreme.do) however, I had not slept all night due to the pain and had slept through the alarm. So I got up, took my AC products, and had to take my boyfriend to get a rental car because his car was going to the shop and then go to work. I could barely talk because of the pain and called my doctor's office. I amazingly was able to get into see my doc in the morning, however, she diagnosed it as TMJ syndrome of which she doesn't really treat except with prescription Aleve (have been taking that anyways). Called my dentist only to find out he sends TMJ out to a specialist and my insurance doesn't cover any of it...so since I have the meds listed as typical treatment at my house, I went to the drugstore to buy the night guard and am hoping it all works out.
I still attempted to do the ChaLEAN workout, though, the strain caused an increase in pain in the jaw area, so I ended up on the treadmill again tonight for a run/walk workout. That had some pain, but not as much as the strengthening workout was causing.
I also made some Banana Oat Bran bread that I am hoping to be able to eat. My BF made swordfish and sweet potatoes for dinner, but I wasn't really able to eat the fish because of the chewing :( I will let you know how the bread turned out!!
That's it for now!!
Over and out,
Rhonda
If interested in Advocare products, visit my site: https://www.advocare.com/10115069/default.aspx
Yesterday, I got up, drank my Spark drink, took 6 Catalyst and ran Week 3 Day 1 of the C25K program!!! YEA ME!!! I am pretty slow, but hey we all have to start somewhere right??? One foot in front of the other....AND I ran for 3 minutes straight...well, ok wogged for 3 minutes straight. Then I took the first strip of the MNS E pack and 30 minutes later used my Bella Cucina mixer to make my MRS plus half a banana (sorry Amy...I like the vanilla so much better with some banana in it) along with strips two and three of the MNS pack. Then my day was off and running!! I LOVE all the energy I have with this stuff!!
I had to prepare the burritos that I had bought all the supplies for from my FAV store EVER Whole Foods. I had two recipes from Spark People...a wonderful web community of people where I draw support and strength from. I am making both recipes and freezing the burritos individually so that I can grab them for lunches at work...presto...easy AND healthy!!
Here are the two recipes: http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=56397 and http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=58968 I used sprouted grain tortillas http://www.foodforlife.com/product-catalog/sprouted-grain/ezekiel-49/whole-grain-flourless-tortillas
Did I mention that I woke up yesterday with a horrible pain on the right side of my jaw/ear area? That I could barely open and close my mouth? Yep, not that much fun.
My plan was to get up this morning and do Day 1 of the ChaLEAN program (found on http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/chalean_extreme.do) however, I had not slept all night due to the pain and had slept through the alarm. So I got up, took my AC products, and had to take my boyfriend to get a rental car because his car was going to the shop and then go to work. I could barely talk because of the pain and called my doctor's office. I amazingly was able to get into see my doc in the morning, however, she diagnosed it as TMJ syndrome of which she doesn't really treat except with prescription Aleve (have been taking that anyways). Called my dentist only to find out he sends TMJ out to a specialist and my insurance doesn't cover any of it...so since I have the meds listed as typical treatment at my house, I went to the drugstore to buy the night guard and am hoping it all works out.
I still attempted to do the ChaLEAN workout, though, the strain caused an increase in pain in the jaw area, so I ended up on the treadmill again tonight for a run/walk workout. That had some pain, but not as much as the strengthening workout was causing.
I also made some Banana Oat Bran bread that I am hoping to be able to eat. My BF made swordfish and sweet potatoes for dinner, but I wasn't really able to eat the fish because of the chewing :( I will let you know how the bread turned out!!
That's it for now!!
Over and out,
Rhonda
If interested in Advocare products, visit my site: https://www.advocare.com/10115069/default.aspx
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Another crossroad in the CONCLUSION: Fear of Success
Jan 21
I have never thought that I was afraid of success. I have had it in many aspects of my life and never have shied away from it. In work, I overachieve...in darts, I have been on national teams...whatever I put myself into I find success...why? Because of all the darn hard work I put into it.
Well through a chat convo I was having with a friend tonight, we were talking about her fear of success in most aspects of her life. And she was fighting me on it, so I googled it. Came across this link ( www.livestrong.com/artic
le/14659-handling-fear-of-
success/ ) and began reading....ABOUT ME!!! And my journey through weight loss. Now not every statement applies to me so I am only going to highlight the ones that do in this blog.
So how does fear of success in weight loss manifest in one who has succeeded in other aspects of life? For me it was these:
1)Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content or satisfied once you reach your goal
For so long, I have tied being "thin" or "thinner" as what was going to make me happier. Some of this was rooted in the teenage years (not all that uncommon), which was then supported via an emotionally abusive relationship in college in which my boyfriend had me believing I was so fat and unattractive that he was the ONLY one who would ever love me...to the point that I was so stressed out I was borderline bulemic. Then move forward into my marriage, where my ex would only have sex with me if I was dressed scantily or "sexy" in his eyes...which was pretty slutty in everyone elses. And I was SO uncomfortable in that garb because I was a larger girl...one who really shouldn't be in mini-skirts. So in both cases (college and marriage) I had lost weight...only to not feel any differently toward my weight.
MY STATEMENT: I am afraid that when I lose the weight I will still not be happy because intellectually I know that happiness has nothing to do with the size you are.
2)Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life AND
3)Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade
I have in the past lost weight. Like many others here I have lost the same 20 pounds over and over again...only to put it back on. I have seen it through out each of the BLC rounds. I will lose until mid-round and then not sustain the loss because I will make excuses and "let myself off the hook".
MY STATEMENT: I will lose the weight and keep it off. It IS within my power to do so and yes it will take work, but I have never been one to shy away from hard work or a tough challenge. I will not let myself do it now.
4)Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment
I have lived my whole life thinking that success is what you are striving for, regardless of what the task is. In this case, being healthy is the end success which can be achieved through the actions that are needed to lose weight. However, as with many other areas in my life, I get bored. When I get bored everything wanes. I have tried to come up with ways to abolish the boredom, but have yet to find the answer.
MY STATEMENT: My own well being is important enough to me to continue on the path, even if I do get bored at times. I will look for ways to shake things up, to liven them up, so that I will continue on the path.
Next are the consequences of my fear:
1) A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself
2)Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve and succeed
3)Choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy and successful (for me...in weight loss)
4) Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life (ie, weight loss)
Statements that I believe:
1)I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
Right now I have a man that loves me for who I am, I have no weight related health conditions, and I like to eat. So, is the journey worth it? This is where I have to find motivation.
2)I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals
Alot of this has to do with the fact that I always over book myself. I am the person who is constantly juggling five different things, and the ball that drops is my weight loss journey. I need to find balance. I have tried to eliminate things from my life but find that I fill that void with another hobby, project, or such, that I have stopped eliminating and have started to try and focus on what I have all going on. I still feel worn thin.
3)I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged
LOL...ok read above...I rationalize that is why I keep SO insanely busy.
4) Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to
In a way I am ashamed to admit this one. But I do look at all that I have achieved in life and then I look at how others don't and I will cop out and say that I don't have to be perfect at everything...this is the one thing I won't be perfect at because everyone has the right to slack. Not really sure that this is true...and why would I want to fail at my health??
New behaviors I need to embrace:
1)Being able to honestly appraise my level of achievement, success and accomplishment
2)Accepting myself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous and accomplished
3)Not giving myself any excuses for being unsuccessful
4)Monitoring my level of commitment and motivation to reach my goals
5)Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
In all honesty, number five is going to be the hardest. I have always had issues with compliments and recognition. I am the one who just wants to get the job/task done and KNOW that it was done well. I have never been one who wants accolades or such....
So I have all of this to think about and let stew in my head for a few days. I am going to formulate a plan to tackle my "to do" list....afterall...it is one thing I do well....
I have never thought that I was afraid of success. I have had it in many aspects of my life and never have shied away from it. In work, I overachieve...in darts, I have been on national teams...whatever I put myself into I find success...why? Because of all the darn hard work I put into it.
Well through a chat convo I was having with a friend tonight, we were talking about her fear of success in most aspects of her life. And she was fighting me on it, so I googled it. Came across this link ( www.livestrong.com/artic
le/14659-handling-fear-of-
success/ ) and began reading....ABOUT ME!!! And my journey through weight loss. Now not every statement applies to me so I am only going to highlight the ones that do in this blog.
So how does fear of success in weight loss manifest in one who has succeeded in other aspects of life? For me it was these:
1)Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content or satisfied once you reach your goal
For so long, I have tied being "thin" or "thinner" as what was going to make me happier. Some of this was rooted in the teenage years (not all that uncommon), which was then supported via an emotionally abusive relationship in college in which my boyfriend had me believing I was so fat and unattractive that he was the ONLY one who would ever love me...to the point that I was so stressed out I was borderline bulemic. Then move forward into my marriage, where my ex would only have sex with me if I was dressed scantily or "sexy" in his eyes...which was pretty slutty in everyone elses. And I was SO uncomfortable in that garb because I was a larger girl...one who really shouldn't be in mini-skirts. So in both cases (college and marriage) I had lost weight...only to not feel any differently toward my weight.
MY STATEMENT: I am afraid that when I lose the weight I will still not be happy because intellectually I know that happiness has nothing to do with the size you are.
2)Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life AND
3)Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade
I have in the past lost weight. Like many others here I have lost the same 20 pounds over and over again...only to put it back on. I have seen it through out each of the BLC rounds. I will lose until mid-round and then not sustain the loss because I will make excuses and "let myself off the hook".
MY STATEMENT: I will lose the weight and keep it off. It IS within my power to do so and yes it will take work, but I have never been one to shy away from hard work or a tough challenge. I will not let myself do it now.
4)Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment
I have lived my whole life thinking that success is what you are striving for, regardless of what the task is. In this case, being healthy is the end success which can be achieved through the actions that are needed to lose weight. However, as with many other areas in my life, I get bored. When I get bored everything wanes. I have tried to come up with ways to abolish the boredom, but have yet to find the answer.
MY STATEMENT: My own well being is important enough to me to continue on the path, even if I do get bored at times. I will look for ways to shake things up, to liven them up, so that I will continue on the path.
Next are the consequences of my fear:
1) A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself
2)Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve and succeed
3)Choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy and successful (for me...in weight loss)
4) Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life (ie, weight loss)
Statements that I believe:
1)I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
Right now I have a man that loves me for who I am, I have no weight related health conditions, and I like to eat. So, is the journey worth it? This is where I have to find motivation.
2)I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals
Alot of this has to do with the fact that I always over book myself. I am the person who is constantly juggling five different things, and the ball that drops is my weight loss journey. I need to find balance. I have tried to eliminate things from my life but find that I fill that void with another hobby, project, or such, that I have stopped eliminating and have started to try and focus on what I have all going on. I still feel worn thin.
3)I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged
LOL...ok read above...I rationalize that is why I keep SO insanely busy.
4) Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to
In a way I am ashamed to admit this one. But I do look at all that I have achieved in life and then I look at how others don't and I will cop out and say that I don't have to be perfect at everything...this is the one thing I won't be perfect at because everyone has the right to slack. Not really sure that this is true...and why would I want to fail at my health??
New behaviors I need to embrace:
1)Being able to honestly appraise my level of achievement, success and accomplishment
2)Accepting myself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous and accomplished
3)Not giving myself any excuses for being unsuccessful
4)Monitoring my level of commitment and motivation to reach my goals
5)Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
In all honesty, number five is going to be the hardest. I have always had issues with compliments and recognition. I am the one who just wants to get the job/task done and KNOW that it was done well. I have never been one who wants accolades or such....
So I have all of this to think about and let stew in my head for a few days. I am going to formulate a plan to tackle my "to do" list....afterall...it is one thing I do well....
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