So I got my shipment of Advocare on Saturday with all sorts of new goodies in it to try!! On top of my regular MNS E pack, Catalyst, Meal Replacement Shakes (MRS) and Spark drink, I also got breakfast and snack bars, Rehydrate (a healthy version of Gatorade), Night Time Recovery and Thermo-Plus. I am feeling confident that I have a well rounded supplementation program now to incorporate into a great exercise program. Now, I just have to do it!!!
Yesterday, I got up, drank my Spark drink, took 6 Catalyst and ran Week 3 Day 1 of the C25K program!!! YEA ME!!! I am pretty slow, but hey we all have to start somewhere right??? One foot in front of the other....AND I ran for 3 minutes straight...well, ok wogged for 3 minutes straight. Then I took the first strip of the MNS E pack and 30 minutes later used my Bella Cucina mixer to make my MRS plus half a banana (sorry Amy...I like the vanilla so much better with some banana in it) along with strips two and three of the MNS pack. Then my day was off and running!! I LOVE all the energy I have with this stuff!!
I had to prepare the burritos that I had bought all the supplies for from my FAV store EVER Whole Foods. I had two recipes from Spark People...a wonderful web community of people where I draw support and strength from. I am making both recipes and freezing the burritos individually so that I can grab them for lunches at work...presto...easy AND healthy!!
Here are the two recipes: http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=56397 and http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=58968 I used sprouted grain tortillas http://www.foodforlife.com/product-catalog/sprouted-grain/ezekiel-49/whole-grain-flourless-tortillas
Did I mention that I woke up yesterday with a horrible pain on the right side of my jaw/ear area? That I could barely open and close my mouth? Yep, not that much fun.
My plan was to get up this morning and do Day 1 of the ChaLEAN program (found on http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/chalean_extreme.do) however, I had not slept all night due to the pain and had slept through the alarm. So I got up, took my AC products, and had to take my boyfriend to get a rental car because his car was going to the shop and then go to work. I could barely talk because of the pain and called my doctor's office. I amazingly was able to get into see my doc in the morning, however, she diagnosed it as TMJ syndrome of which she doesn't really treat except with prescription Aleve (have been taking that anyways). Called my dentist only to find out he sends TMJ out to a specialist and my insurance doesn't cover any of it...so since I have the meds listed as typical treatment at my house, I went to the drugstore to buy the night guard and am hoping it all works out.
I still attempted to do the ChaLEAN workout, though, the strain caused an increase in pain in the jaw area, so I ended up on the treadmill again tonight for a run/walk workout. That had some pain, but not as much as the strengthening workout was causing.
I also made some Banana Oat Bran bread that I am hoping to be able to eat. My BF made swordfish and sweet potatoes for dinner, but I wasn't really able to eat the fish because of the chewing :( I will let you know how the bread turned out!!
That's it for now!!
Over and out,
Rhonda
If interested in Advocare products, visit my site: https://www.advocare.com/10115069/default.aspx
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Another crossroad in the CONCLUSION: Fear of Success
Jan 21
I have never thought that I was afraid of success. I have had it in many aspects of my life and never have shied away from it. In work, I overachieve...in darts, I have been on national teams...whatever I put myself into I find success...why? Because of all the darn hard work I put into it.
Well through a chat convo I was having with a friend tonight, we were talking about her fear of success in most aspects of her life. And she was fighting me on it, so I googled it. Came across this link ( www.livestrong.com/artic
le/14659-handling-fear-of-
success/ ) and began reading....ABOUT ME!!! And my journey through weight loss. Now not every statement applies to me so I am only going to highlight the ones that do in this blog.
So how does fear of success in weight loss manifest in one who has succeeded in other aspects of life? For me it was these:
1)Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content or satisfied once you reach your goal
For so long, I have tied being "thin" or "thinner" as what was going to make me happier. Some of this was rooted in the teenage years (not all that uncommon), which was then supported via an emotionally abusive relationship in college in which my boyfriend had me believing I was so fat and unattractive that he was the ONLY one who would ever love me...to the point that I was so stressed out I was borderline bulemic. Then move forward into my marriage, where my ex would only have sex with me if I was dressed scantily or "sexy" in his eyes...which was pretty slutty in everyone elses. And I was SO uncomfortable in that garb because I was a larger girl...one who really shouldn't be in mini-skirts. So in both cases (college and marriage) I had lost weight...only to not feel any differently toward my weight.
MY STATEMENT: I am afraid that when I lose the weight I will still not be happy because intellectually I know that happiness has nothing to do with the size you are.
2)Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life AND
3)Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade
I have in the past lost weight. Like many others here I have lost the same 20 pounds over and over again...only to put it back on. I have seen it through out each of the BLC rounds. I will lose until mid-round and then not sustain the loss because I will make excuses and "let myself off the hook".
MY STATEMENT: I will lose the weight and keep it off. It IS within my power to do so and yes it will take work, but I have never been one to shy away from hard work or a tough challenge. I will not let myself do it now.
4)Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment
I have lived my whole life thinking that success is what you are striving for, regardless of what the task is. In this case, being healthy is the end success which can be achieved through the actions that are needed to lose weight. However, as with many other areas in my life, I get bored. When I get bored everything wanes. I have tried to come up with ways to abolish the boredom, but have yet to find the answer.
MY STATEMENT: My own well being is important enough to me to continue on the path, even if I do get bored at times. I will look for ways to shake things up, to liven them up, so that I will continue on the path.
Next are the consequences of my fear:
1) A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself
2)Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve and succeed
3)Choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy and successful (for me...in weight loss)
4) Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life (ie, weight loss)
Statements that I believe:
1)I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
Right now I have a man that loves me for who I am, I have no weight related health conditions, and I like to eat. So, is the journey worth it? This is where I have to find motivation.
2)I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals
Alot of this has to do with the fact that I always over book myself. I am the person who is constantly juggling five different things, and the ball that drops is my weight loss journey. I need to find balance. I have tried to eliminate things from my life but find that I fill that void with another hobby, project, or such, that I have stopped eliminating and have started to try and focus on what I have all going on. I still feel worn thin.
3)I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged
LOL...ok read above...I rationalize that is why I keep SO insanely busy.
4) Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to
In a way I am ashamed to admit this one. But I do look at all that I have achieved in life and then I look at how others don't and I will cop out and say that I don't have to be perfect at everything...this is the one thing I won't be perfect at because everyone has the right to slack. Not really sure that this is true...and why would I want to fail at my health??
New behaviors I need to embrace:
1)Being able to honestly appraise my level of achievement, success and accomplishment
2)Accepting myself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous and accomplished
3)Not giving myself any excuses for being unsuccessful
4)Monitoring my level of commitment and motivation to reach my goals
5)Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
In all honesty, number five is going to be the hardest. I have always had issues with compliments and recognition. I am the one who just wants to get the job/task done and KNOW that it was done well. I have never been one who wants accolades or such....
So I have all of this to think about and let stew in my head for a few days. I am going to formulate a plan to tackle my "to do" list....afterall...it is one thing I do well....
I have never thought that I was afraid of success. I have had it in many aspects of my life and never have shied away from it. In work, I overachieve...in darts, I have been on national teams...whatever I put myself into I find success...why? Because of all the darn hard work I put into it.
Well through a chat convo I was having with a friend tonight, we were talking about her fear of success in most aspects of her life. And she was fighting me on it, so I googled it. Came across this link ( www.livestrong.com/artic
le/14659-handling-fear-of-
success/ ) and began reading....ABOUT ME!!! And my journey through weight loss. Now not every statement applies to me so I am only going to highlight the ones that do in this blog.
So how does fear of success in weight loss manifest in one who has succeeded in other aspects of life? For me it was these:
1)Fear that you will accomplish all that you set out to, but that you still won't be happy, content or satisfied once you reach your goal
For so long, I have tied being "thin" or "thinner" as what was going to make me happier. Some of this was rooted in the teenage years (not all that uncommon), which was then supported via an emotionally abusive relationship in college in which my boyfriend had me believing I was so fat and unattractive that he was the ONLY one who would ever love me...to the point that I was so stressed out I was borderline bulemic. Then move forward into my marriage, where my ex would only have sex with me if I was dressed scantily or "sexy" in his eyes...which was pretty slutty in everyone elses. And I was SO uncomfortable in that garb because I was a larger girl...one who really shouldn't be in mini-skirts. So in both cases (college and marriage) I had lost weight...only to not feel any differently toward my weight.
MY STATEMENT: I am afraid that when I lose the weight I will still not be happy because intellectually I know that happiness has nothing to do with the size you are.
2)Lack of belief in your own ability to sustain your progress, and the accomplishments you have achieved in your life AND
3)Fear that once you have achieved the goals you have worked diligently for, the motivation to continue will fade
I have in the past lost weight. Like many others here I have lost the same 20 pounds over and over again...only to put it back on. I have seen it through out each of the BLC rounds. I will lose until mid-round and then not sustain the loss because I will make excuses and "let myself off the hook".
MY STATEMENT: I will lose the weight and keep it off. It IS within my power to do so and yes it will take work, but I have never been one to shy away from hard work or a tough challenge. I will not let myself do it now.
4)Belief that success is an end in itself; yet that end is not enough to sustain your interest and/or commitment
I have lived my whole life thinking that success is what you are striving for, regardless of what the task is. In this case, being healthy is the end success which can be achieved through the actions that are needed to lose weight. However, as with many other areas in my life, I get bored. When I get bored everything wanes. I have tried to come up with ways to abolish the boredom, but have yet to find the answer.
MY STATEMENT: My own well being is important enough to me to continue on the path, even if I do get bored at times. I will look for ways to shake things up, to liven them up, so that I will continue on the path.
Next are the consequences of my fear:
1) A lack of effort to achieve goals you have set for yourself
2)Losing the motivation or the desire to grow, achieve and succeed
3)Choosing to do just the opposite of what you need to do to be happy, healthy and successful (for me...in weight loss)
4) Reinforcing your chronic negativity, chronic pessimism and chronic lack of achievement since you cannot, visualize yourself in a contented, successful life (ie, weight loss)
Statements that I believe:
1)I have worked so hard to get this far, yet I need to keep on working hard; I'm not sure the effort is worth it.
Right now I have a man that loves me for who I am, I have no weight related health conditions, and I like to eat. So, is the journey worth it? This is where I have to find motivation.
2)I can't sustain the momentum I would need to achieve my goals
Alot of this has to do with the fact that I always over book myself. I am the person who is constantly juggling five different things, and the ball that drops is my weight loss journey. I need to find balance. I have tried to eliminate things from my life but find that I fill that void with another hobby, project, or such, that I have stopped eliminating and have started to try and focus on what I have all going on. I still feel worn thin.
3)I am happiest when I am under pressure and challenged
LOL...ok read above...I rationalize that is why I keep SO insanely busy.
4) Everyone has the right to fail in life, and I have the right to choose to fail if I want to
In a way I am ashamed to admit this one. But I do look at all that I have achieved in life and then I look at how others don't and I will cop out and say that I don't have to be perfect at everything...this is the one thing I won't be perfect at because everyone has the right to slack. Not really sure that this is true...and why would I want to fail at my health??
New behaviors I need to embrace:
1)Being able to honestly appraise my level of achievement, success and accomplishment
2)Accepting myself as being healthy, "together,'' happy, successful, prosperous and accomplished
3)Not giving myself any excuses for being unsuccessful
4)Monitoring my level of commitment and motivation to reach my goals
5)Accepting the compliments and recognition of others with an open heart and mind
In all honesty, number five is going to be the hardest. I have always had issues with compliments and recognition. I am the one who just wants to get the job/task done and KNOW that it was done well. I have never been one who wants accolades or such....
So I have all of this to think about and let stew in my head for a few days. I am going to formulate a plan to tackle my "to do" list....afterall...it is one thing I do well....
Points to Ponder of Why People WANT to Lose Weight....
Jan 11
So in my quest of trying to determine why it is I am on this journey I am investigating why other people generally try to lose weight:
1) I want to be thin so (fill in) will find me attractive.
-I don't think this is my reason because I don't worry what others think of me due to my outward appearances. If someone is going to judge me because of a physical characteristic than more likely than not I am not going to like that person nor want to get to know them. That being said, my boyfriend loves me how I am and would be perfectly content if I didn't lose weight. In fact when we got together I weighed more than I do now.
-From the time I was 14 until the time I was divorced at 31 I had never really been single. I always had a "love" interest of some sort, so I know that I am physically attractive. I actually wonder if this somehow holds me back. Sounds backwards in a sense doesn't it?
2) I want to be healthier.
-ok, now this is a blanketed statement. Who doesn't want to be healthier...but what does it mean? I have been through so much testing with my Fibromyalgia that all my tests are normal and with in proper range. My cholesterol is wonderful and really no family history. My blood pressure is low to normal...though around 40 my mother had high BP. I will say my RHR is high, but none of my doctors seem to care because it has always been that way, even in college when I was working out consistently (but still overweight).
-So this leads me to my Fibro...if I do keep moving I feel better, but I don't know if it is related to an actual weight versus just being active.
3) I want to wear cute clothes.
-I can wear cute clothes now. I have a lot of outfits that are downright adorable. I don't feel that is a size thing as much of a confidence level...which leads me to my next point....
4) I want to have high self esteem.
-This is not going to come just because I shed weight. This is an internal factor that is based on many variables most of which is not weight. I actually have a fairly good self esteem. I know that I have many positive attributes to give to the world and I know what my strong points and negative points are. And I am comfortable with me. I don't believe that esteem is linked with societal norms of appearances.
5) I want more energy and be able to do more.
-I already work all day and then have something scheduled every evening afterwork and most weekends. If I get any busier I would have to clone myself. I am actually thinking of doing that now...hmmm...wonder if I split in to if that would count as weight loss...
-This is where I get stuck, I think. I am a busy person (and I am not saying by any means that I am any more busy than others) and fitting it in (even scheduled) stresses me out, so I at times don't do it because of it. (see still keeping up with the no excuses). Add to it that I don't like it and it tends to be the first thing to go...
I guess I should be attempting to figure out is it more important to determine WHY I want to or is it more important to determine WHY I keep fighting the process? I out of so many of the people on this site, know more about how and why exercise and health is so important, yet I keep fighting it....hmmm....points to ponder for my next blogging session...
So in my quest of trying to determine why it is I am on this journey I am investigating why other people generally try to lose weight:
1) I want to be thin so (fill in) will find me attractive.
-I don't think this is my reason because I don't worry what others think of me due to my outward appearances. If someone is going to judge me because of a physical characteristic than more likely than not I am not going to like that person nor want to get to know them. That being said, my boyfriend loves me how I am and would be perfectly content if I didn't lose weight. In fact when we got together I weighed more than I do now.
-From the time I was 14 until the time I was divorced at 31 I had never really been single. I always had a "love" interest of some sort, so I know that I am physically attractive. I actually wonder if this somehow holds me back. Sounds backwards in a sense doesn't it?
2) I want to be healthier.
-ok, now this is a blanketed statement. Who doesn't want to be healthier...but what does it mean? I have been through so much testing with my Fibromyalgia that all my tests are normal and with in proper range. My cholesterol is wonderful and really no family history. My blood pressure is low to normal...though around 40 my mother had high BP. I will say my RHR is high, but none of my doctors seem to care because it has always been that way, even in college when I was working out consistently (but still overweight).
-So this leads me to my Fibro...if I do keep moving I feel better, but I don't know if it is related to an actual weight versus just being active.
3) I want to wear cute clothes.
-I can wear cute clothes now. I have a lot of outfits that are downright adorable. I don't feel that is a size thing as much of a confidence level...which leads me to my next point....
4) I want to have high self esteem.
-This is not going to come just because I shed weight. This is an internal factor that is based on many variables most of which is not weight. I actually have a fairly good self esteem. I know that I have many positive attributes to give to the world and I know what my strong points and negative points are. And I am comfortable with me. I don't believe that esteem is linked with societal norms of appearances.
5) I want more energy and be able to do more.
-I already work all day and then have something scheduled every evening afterwork and most weekends. If I get any busier I would have to clone myself. I am actually thinking of doing that now...hmmm...wonder if I split in to if that would count as weight loss...
-This is where I get stuck, I think. I am a busy person (and I am not saying by any means that I am any more busy than others) and fitting it in (even scheduled) stresses me out, so I at times don't do it because of it. (see still keeping up with the no excuses). Add to it that I don't like it and it tends to be the first thing to go...
I guess I should be attempting to figure out is it more important to determine WHY I want to or is it more important to determine WHY I keep fighting the process? I out of so many of the people on this site, know more about how and why exercise and health is so important, yet I keep fighting it....hmmm....points to ponder for my next blogging session...
Where I have already examined....
I have come to a conclusion that I don't know why I even want to lose weight. I think that is part of the problem I have with staying with it and even harder when I get close to leaving 170s...because I have to pick up the exercise at that point to get over the plateau...and really have to focus on the why....
I think unless I figure this out I will forever be stuck....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote my blog yesterday quickly because I didn't have that much time to go into detail about it.
It seems that I am spending a lot of my time trying to lose weight. Trying to take my 180 lb body down to 155 lbs. And not only am I not enjoying the entire process I am no longer sure what the purpose behind doing it is. My entire life I have been overweight to some extreme. Never really to the point where it has hindered me in my life. Yet I feel that I need to lose. But why?
I was IMing a friend and she pointed out that when we get into discussions of some of the deeper issues in my life, I tend to take on a new project. Become VP of a club, get a new dog, throw myself into this website....I just wonder if the process is a way of avoiding the issues.
I like eating the food I like to eat. I don't emo-eat. When I am angry, I don't turn to food. When I am sad, I don't turn to food. When I am frustrated, confused, whatever, my first choice is not food. I do for the most part eat properly because I like healthy food. But there are times that I don't want to have to NOT choose the right food because it isn't healthy. I know all within moderation....but let's face it, there are some foods/dishes that aren't moderate. No mater if it is just one bite of it.
As for exercise, I just don't like it. Flat out. I have tried various types and I don't like it. There are types that I will tolerate and those I try to make myself believe that I enjoy. I do along with the storyline that I have created because I feel that I have to...in the meantime, I am crunching things into my time and it will be ten at night and I am finally winding down and to tired to even talk to my boyfriend let alone be social with him.
So I will probably continue as is since, well I dunno...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think unless I figure this out I will forever be stuck....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wrote my blog yesterday quickly because I didn't have that much time to go into detail about it.
It seems that I am spending a lot of my time trying to lose weight. Trying to take my 180 lb body down to 155 lbs. And not only am I not enjoying the entire process I am no longer sure what the purpose behind doing it is. My entire life I have been overweight to some extreme. Never really to the point where it has hindered me in my life. Yet I feel that I need to lose. But why?
I was IMing a friend and she pointed out that when we get into discussions of some of the deeper issues in my life, I tend to take on a new project. Become VP of a club, get a new dog, throw myself into this website....I just wonder if the process is a way of avoiding the issues.
I like eating the food I like to eat. I don't emo-eat. When I am angry, I don't turn to food. When I am sad, I don't turn to food. When I am frustrated, confused, whatever, my first choice is not food. I do for the most part eat properly because I like healthy food. But there are times that I don't want to have to NOT choose the right food because it isn't healthy. I know all within moderation....but let's face it, there are some foods/dishes that aren't moderate. No mater if it is just one bite of it.
As for exercise, I just don't like it. Flat out. I have tried various types and I don't like it. There are types that I will tolerate and those I try to make myself believe that I enjoy. I do along with the storyline that I have created because I feel that I have to...in the meantime, I am crunching things into my time and it will be ten at night and I am finally winding down and to tired to even talk to my boyfriend let alone be social with him.
So I will probably continue as is since, well I dunno...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, January 24, 2011
Intro Blog
Hi everyone!
My name is Rhonda and I am starting this blog for a variety of reasons. I am in the process of recreating my life and I want to have a place to record it. I am not sure I would do it faithfully if I was using an old pen and paper. Actually I am not sure if I will do it faithfully on here, but I am hopeful that I will be more accountable on here!
So the two main components I am going to be chronicling on here is my journey through health and my journey in becoming a dog trainer. I am an athletic trainer working in research, but my true passion are pups. I have three of my own and am an "aunt" to many and want to be an educator to even more! This is short blog because of weekend that I have had and I am exhausted...but I took the first step and created this blog site!! Go me!!
My name is Rhonda and I am starting this blog for a variety of reasons. I am in the process of recreating my life and I want to have a place to record it. I am not sure I would do it faithfully if I was using an old pen and paper. Actually I am not sure if I will do it faithfully on here, but I am hopeful that I will be more accountable on here!
So the two main components I am going to be chronicling on here is my journey through health and my journey in becoming a dog trainer. I am an athletic trainer working in research, but my true passion are pups. I have three of my own and am an "aunt" to many and want to be an educator to even more! This is short blog because of weekend that I have had and I am exhausted...but I took the first step and created this blog site!! Go me!!
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